Oh, the mother of all sex challenges. This is the challenge that scares wifey the most. Not because she believes that it's evil, but because she's got a hang up about her butt hole. We've got some history here as well. When we were first dating, we tried it when we were on a trip. We went out and had a fun night, got really drunk and came back to the hotel for a sex marathon. We had sex twice (yes, it was that early on) and sometime during the second session we (I?) decided that we should try anal. No preparation. Lube wasn't an issue because she was really, really wet, but she wasn't mentally prepared for it and was, honestly, a little traumatized by it.
Fast forward 7 or 8 years--I'm a much wiser man and she's much more open minded. I made no secret that this should be part of our sex challenge and she was skeptical. I insisted not because I physically enjoyed anal sex (vaginal sex actually feels better to me), but because I think that if she opens her mind to it, it can be the gateway to a whole new level of orgasm for her. Over the last 3 months, I've been talking anal a lot. I bought her a butt plug. She thinks I'm "anal obsessed." But it wasn't until I touched her butt during an orgasm one night that her curiosity started to pique. To my (and probably her) surprise, she started letting me finger her butt during sex...and she enjoyed it. Before our vacation a couple of weeks ago, she told me that the most intense orgasms she has is in doggy style while she rubs her clit...with a finger in her ass! What?! While on vacation we took it to the next level. We were having drunk sex one night and I secretly slipped a second finger in while in reverse cowgirl. She came really hard, but didn't know that I had inserted a second finger. This game turned into "just the tip" as we continue to dabble in anal play working up to being ready to meet this challenge, whenever it would occur. She was even able to cum from just my fingers in her ass.
What I've just described is the most critical step in anal sex: the lead in. In my opinion, preparing her physically is overstated, although its important to take your time and make sure she's physically able to accommodate you. The process of preparing her mentally is really what its all about because when she's relaxed and comfortable, she's going to receive you without pain if you've done any anal play. What it's all about for us is what it's all about for most people: trust. Anal sex is about her trusting you to take her outside of her comfort zone, to spend time giving her proper attention to prepare her and to do something that can either hurt her or give her intense pleasure. Once she trusts you, she relaxes and the doorway to pleasure is open.
So we planned for Saturday night--empty house, nice dinner, a few drinks. We went upstairs later than anticipated. We lit some candles (as much for light as for mood) and put on some music. After a little 69, we started having vaginal sex with a little anal diddling. But things just weren't right for some reason. She was tense and thinking about it. Nothing was relaxed and she was very on edge. We played with the smallest butt plug for a little while, which yielded a pretty big orgasm, but it quickly became clear that going beyond that was not going to happen.
So Saturday came and went without an attempt. We talked a little bit the next day and all she could say was that it "wasn't right." The pressure of a time deadline was too much to allow her to relax. We both want to try again, but we agree that its best to just let it happen, as it has been over the last couple of weeks. As far as the challenge goes, we skate by on a technicality. During our game of "just the tip," I was about 1/3 inside her ass and she got off, so I think that counts. Without the pressure, things will get easier.
Edit: There's more to the story! Read our update here.
No comments:
Post a Comment